Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
