last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
