Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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