I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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