just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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