And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
