I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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