I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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