he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
