sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You ruined the universe
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