She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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