i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
