I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
