That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
