so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I pour the whiskey from now on
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
