I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
