i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
