I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
