sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
