Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
