So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.