Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...