if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.