I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So squirting runs in the family.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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