So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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