its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
