i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
