My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My ass is underappreciated
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
