They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
