He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
