dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
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well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
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I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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