you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
