How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
