i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
