Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
