Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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