My nipple is on Facebook.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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