Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
