I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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