You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize