well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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