A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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