all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i think i just lost a toe
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
