whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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