so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My balls are so social today.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
