It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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