what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Boobs are out for the taking
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
