Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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