better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
