Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
