JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
where are my eyebrows?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
