Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i dont even know how to be here
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
