glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
