I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize