Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
