It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
