I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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