I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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