People with herpes should wear stickers.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
