Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
