I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
