Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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