He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
