i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
