That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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