Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
